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Writer's pictureShonSpeaks

FLIP IT ™ How to Feel Better About Your Life with One Simple Strategy



Affirmation: My brain is my key to my best life.


Isn’t it time we enjoy our lives now? Aren’t we capable of enjoying this paradise of life we call living without lamenting the past and stressing about the future?


Are you living in the “I wish this, and I wish that, or she did this, or he did that?”

What if you never had to wish for anything to be different in your life from what is in your life? What if when she breaks your heart, your heart needed to be broken? What if when you lost the job, you needed to be unemployed?


Wouldn’t you be less stressed?


Isn’t this the place we actually get to once we stop fighting with life and get to a place of acceptance in our minds. What if instead of it taking months, years or decades or never for some of us to get pass resentments, heartbreaks and disappointments, we can get pass them in minutes, hours, days or weeks?


Trusting that life knows the master plan and you get to enjoy your life no matter the circumstance requires a surrendering of the stories that dominate your beliefs. And your most dominant beliefs are born from the thoughts that have taken root in your mind without challenge or expansion and have become the source of your pain, hurt or disappointment about life.


Life is perfect just as it is. Your life is perfect just as it is. How do I know this? Because your life is just as it is. When it’s time for you to do something different, something different will be there for you to do. When it’s time for you to love someone different, someone different will be there for you to love.


Will you have an open mind, ready for life’s journey?


You always have your own business to attend to, and your business will require you to take action as each day arrives. Our pain comes in when our stories cause our brain to focus on business that is not of our concern.


When Summer is ready to turn to Fall, life doesn’t ask your permission to change. Each day life gets closer to Fall, super hot days are disrupted with cooler days until one day it’s just not as hot as the day before. Worrying about whether Fall will come or not is not your business. Just like worrying about your husband leaving you or your friend not calling you back isn’t your business. His leaving is his business. Her not calling you back is her business. What are you going to do about your life—that is your business?


Wanting someone’s decision about you to be different is a form of brain abuse.


Our brains are powerful tools within our bodies and are involved in everything we do and in every decision we make. It’s time we become more conscious-awaken users of our brains.


Understand that your brain really is like a muscle. You can train your brain to enjoy life just as life presents in the moment or you can train your brain to fight against life’s present moments, hoping for things to be different than they are. Like me, many of us were train to fight life for what we want. Now I am seeing that with each fight against how life is, my better life keeps eluding my grasp. Maybe my life is better just how it is right now. And when a new better is ready for me to live in it, life knows how to disrupt me and bring me into a new moment.


Do we really have to fight for our wants? Our wants know when to show up in the form of needs. Have you ever said, this person came into my life when I needed him or her and I didn’t even know I needed him or her? And when he or she left, I didn’t need him or her anymore, even if the story I kept telling myself is that I wanted him or her. Are you going to stay stuck in the old story, lamenting the loss or merge into the new moment ready for new experiences?


What we need we have?


Train your brain to trust this moment as “the needed moment.”


When you enjoy the life you have with a willingness to accept what is, you override the neurotransmitters in your brain that may have you out of wack, feeling stressed, worried, overly anxious, panicked and your mind will begin to calm. And who knows what a calm mind may come up with in the moment.


A calm mind opens you to receive.


Your story doesn’t matter to present life; reality does.


Now I am not saying you should fight your thoughts to face a new reality. You can’t—trust me I have been trying. ALOT! You just might not be over an old love and your thoughts might remind you daily of what you thought you had with this person and that is more than ok. Welcome the thoughts if they come and you notice them, eventually you won’t notice them as time continues to pass.


Thoughts have a way of getting on the conveyor belt of your mind without asking permission. Just start noticing the thoughts that have you stressed out, mad at yourself, heartbroken, sad, stuck, depressed, defeated or incessantly thinking about someone who isn’t showing up for you, and FLIP IT™. FLIP IT™ is a brain training tool that helps you flip your most stressful thoughts around one by one into accurate thinking and away from stressful believing.


The stories we tell ourselves have hijacked our 20/20 vision of present life. Flipping our thoughts brings us into the present moments of life consciously.


By using the FLIP IT™ technique on the thoughts that have you stressed out, you begin to have an aware brain that can be used to make aware decisions so that you can live an aware life.


We all like to say we are winners or want to be, but we train our brains to be losers.


The critical first step in your new strategy to live a better life now is flipping the thoughts that have you stuck to get unstuck. It’s using the Anterior Cingulate Gyrus of your brain to shift attention out of the fog into the sunlight.


For example:


The FOGGY Thought: “John should not have broken up with me.”

This thought is foggy because John has broken up with you and you keep wanting life to be something different than what is. Your thoughts are stranded in the fog of yesterday so you can’t see today. You just can’t get this thought out of your mind. It keeps coming up and taking you back there. And the emotions—tears, sadness, heartbreak—keep coming and coming. And you remember all that was or should have been. You are stuck in a story that life is no longer narrating.


Flip this thought by intentionally thinking at least 3-10 opposite, inverse or open to anything thoughts. When drafting your flips, begin with the stressful thought, then come up with a flip that that points the thought back at you as the bad actor doing the same thing the other person did to you. And make sure one of the flips welcomes or opens you again to experience whatever the person did or didn’t do that caused you pain, stress or hurt. This is a powerful self-journey tool to train your brain to embrace reality and enjoy life now.


Possible Flips for the FOGGY Thought:


Flip 1: John should have broken up with me.

Flip 2: I should have broken up with John.

Flip 3: I should have broken up with myself.

Flip 4: I should not have broken up with myself.

Flip 5: I should have not broken up with John.

Flip 6: I am open to John breaking up with me.

Flip 7: I welcome John breaking up with me.

Flip 8: I welcome me breaking up with me.


Flipping a thought is expanding the thought to meet reality where it is and where it was so that you can begin the unstuck process. It is you being honest with yourself about other possible thoughts you probably had but did not notice (because you thought you were so innocent). It’s becoming aware that these other thoughts are probably just as true or truer than the thought that now has you stressed out, worried, stuck or disappointed. It’s seeing that you did to you what the other person did to you.


Life isn’t hard, arduous, or difficult, but our thinking about life is.


If you want more information on how to train your brain to embrace reality and to learn how to FLIP IT™ with ShonSpeaks, connect with me at shon@freeyourthinkingmind.com for details.


FLIP IT™ with ShonSpeaks Your Certified Brain Health & Mindset Trainer


Ase’


Copyright 2021 La Shon Y. Fleming Bruce “ShonSpeaks”


As the title of Billy Carson's best selling books "Woke Doesn't Mean Broke." Awaken yourself to the power and wealth of being you.







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