For the past few years, I delved very deeply into the question of who am I? I thought this question held the answers I was seeking? I looked outward for information and discovered many new characteristics about myself. I was proud to be a black, female, lawyer, writer, etc. and I appreciated my humanity in a more proudful way than ever before.
But recently during my silent meditation times, my thoughts took me to a different question: what am I? As I pondered this question, my thoughts had an immediate response that I wrote down: “I am being that is powerful enough to learn, to create, to build, to share, to live, to die and to resurrect or be reborn.” This statement replayed over and over and over in my head. And as I pondered this answer to what I am, I began to question the validity of my own humanity. Am I human? Am I a human being? Am I a human because someone said so? What was I before that term was agreed to? The phrase “human being” wasn’t used together until around 1751 or some say as early as late 1600s. Since we termed ourselves humans, doesn’t that apply that we are more than human?
I now sense an inner-unveiling that I can’t get to an enjoyable “who I am” without an inner-standing of the “what I am.” It is what I am that enables me to sculpt the who I am because I have to be in full control of the inner me to adjust the outer expression, i.e., the avatar of who I am for different situations, times or occasions. If I don’t see what I am from this position of power, I will forever animate the avatars created for me by others. And I will continue living life with life always happening to me, playing the avatar role of victim in a game I co-created.
I am life in movement. I am life in movement with other lives in movement.
In years past, I have been in each new year as if the year actually existed and as if I had no control begging for mercy in the new year with resolutions. I experienced each year from a powerless position, hoping this new year to be better than the last year, not ever appreciating or understanding that years and my experience of them only existed by my agreement to it.
The present time can be as good or as bad as I believe it to be either by agreement with others, surrender to what others say to be true, by inner intent despite what others say, or by mere ignorance to my own power of being to curate my own present time. As Kevin Wesley likes to say, “I am happening.” But for decades of my life, I experienced my present life through ignorant eyes of believing others without consulting myself. So, life happened to me instead of me happening.
Now, many of us are in what has been dubbed the year 2022 without an appreciation that the year 2022 is only in existence by the power of our being in agreement either knowingly or unknowingly. Many of us have so unknowingly surrendered what we are to the knowledge shared by others as to who we are. And we believed who others said we were without ever asking why or what is that.
The who we are or believe we are operate only as identity cloaks barricading the awareness of what we are and most times preventing the exercise of our ability to change. Once you have an appreciation of what you are, you begin to know without fear, without pride, without intimidation that you hold the power to change identities based on time, place, and intent. The time, place and intent can be by individual determination or by mass adaptation.
A new year always lives in each new moment. Begin to see each rising sun or dawn of light as a curated opportunity to exercise one of your powers of being you.
If 2022 presented with feelings of financial difficulty or relationship challenges, see 2022 not as 365 days to hopefully finally get shit together or have shit work out for you, but as a present curated moment to express the magic of being you. However, you feel right now is probably based on an assumption about life that you never thought to question. We feel sad about death because we are taught that death was a lost, but we could have just as easily been taught death differently if as being us we had chosen to learn and share death differently.
We have been taught success based in monetary expression and money based in numbers calculated in dollars (if you are in U.S.), but crypto is disrupting the monarchy of the almighty dollar and many of us are unaware. We are reaching new agreements about success and monetary expression and many of us are not participating in the change that is occurring right in front of our eyes.
When emotions of sadness or feelings of brokenness come up, remember you are being powerful enough to feel sad or feel broken; therefore, you are powerful enough to transmute those same emotions into a different emotional self-expression. You can exercise your power to learn, create and express a new emotion. One aligned to the truth of who you want to be. And the more you practice being what you are over who you think you are or what you think you must feel, the more of you being you will rise in this 2022 and the more of who you thought you had to be through your power to die will be reborn.
Expand your understanding of death beyond something negative or bad happening to you but see it as a powerful expression of you. This change in view disrupts your traditional understanding of death. Without this disruption, others will continue using death as a manipulative fear tool to control or dictate who you are or have to be.
You can die to an old way of being and be reborn to live without ever losing your breath.
Consider this: us being powerful enough to create a game together that we call life; we then used our powers to share knowledge about ourselves and life from generation to generation; this same shared knowledge knowingly by some and unknowingly by many erected a barrier between what we are and who we are. Those of us who are unaware of the barrier surrender to the powers of others that are aware as helpless souls led by the slaughter of control and untamed emotion. Many of us believe with all our heart the “who we are” given to us through the shared knowledge of others is truth, but we have completely forgotten that “what we are” created the knowledge in the first place. And even more importantly, we forgot that we agreed to play the game.
Have you ever asked yourself what you are?
What you are is powerful enough to change the game of life and create a life that operates in your favor no matter who’s playing.
Repeat: “I am being that is powerful enough to learn, to create, to build, to share, to live, to die and to resurrect or be reborn.”
Ase’
The only barrier to you living the life you want is your knowing what others say about who you are to be better than just being you. And the only way to better be yourself is become better aware of yourself by going deeper into your own thoughts about yourself to yourself.
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