By: Nikki Sheppard
Parenthood is a life-changing journey that brings joy, but it also introduces challenges that can strain a couple's relationship. The focus naturally shifts to the children, often leaving emotional and physical intimacy between partners on the backburner. However, maintaining a deep connection is crucial, not just for the couple, but for the health of the entire family. A strong bond between parents fosters stability and sets a positive example for children. So, how can couples reignite or maintain their connection after having kids?
5 Steps to Strengthen Connection After Parenthood
1. Set Regular “Couple Time”
Finding time for each other is essential. Even brief moments of connection, such as enjoying a quiet coffee together or having a weekly date night, can strengthen emotional intimacy. Small rituals, like holding hands or watching a favorite show, go a long way. As noted in Fair Play by Eve Rodsky (2020), creating these intentional moments can help couples avoid the common pitfalls of losing touch after children arrive.
2. Communicate Openly and Often
Effective communication is key. Make time to discuss feelings, frustrations, and even hopes for the future. Keeping the lines of communication open prevents small issues from building up and reinforces emotional intimacy. Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel highlights that honest, vulnerable conversations are critical in maintaining connection.
3. Prioritize Physical Affection
Physical intimacy is vital, but it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Simple gestures like a hug, kiss, or holding hands maintain that physical connection. Research from the Journal of Family Psychology (2020) suggests that regular touch, even without sexual activity, strengthens the bond between partners and improves relationship satisfaction.
4. Share Parenting Duties
An unequal division of responsibilities can lead to frustration and resentment, which can harm a relationship. Ensuring that both partners contribute equally to childcare and household duties strengthens the feeling of partnership. According to John Gottman’s The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, shared responsibility reduces stress and keeps the relationship balanced.
5. Seek Professional Help When Needed
Sometimes, the stress of parenting and life in general can take a toll. Seeking couples therapy or relationship coaching can provide tools to reconnect. There’s no shame in asking for help to strengthen a marriage.
Conclusion
Maintaining connection after children requires effort, but it's worth it. Prioritizing time together, keeping communication open, nurturing physical closeness, sharing parenting duties, and seeking support when necessary are key steps for ensuring a thriving relationship even during the busy parenting years.
References:
Rodsky, E. (2020). Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live). G.P. Putnam's Sons.
Gottman, J. M. (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Crown Publishing.
Perel, E. (2006). Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence. HarperCollins.
Journal of Family Psychology. (2020). Touch and Intimacy in Couples: The Role of Physical Affection in Relationship Satisfaction.
Nikki Sheppard is an Assistant/Copywriter for 4biddenknowledge Inc. She enjoys spending time with family and friends as well as singing, dancing and traveling to maintain her health and wellness.
Follow her on IG @ nikki.speaks and nikkispeakstherapy.com
These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical or clinical advice. Consult a healthcare provider before starting any new health regimen. 4biddenknowledge Inc. is not liable for any claims or outcomes resulting from the advice or information provided in any written communication, including blogs, posts, newsletters, or press releases.
Reserve your spot with 50% down and secure your 2025 4BIDDEN Tour of Egypt! We will also lock in your tour rate at the 2024 price as there may be some increases in the near future (we increased 2024's rate as we added more days on to the tour). Register NOW!
Comments