By: April Carson
We have all had toxic people dust us with their poison. Sometimes it's more like a drenching and difficult people are drawn to the reasonable ones. All of us have likely had (or still do) at least one person in our lives who has made things for us bend around ourselves, just so we can please them - only to never really get there because sometimes they're too subtle about how much damage they've done; you might even find yourself questioning your "over-reactiveness" or if maybe you were over-"sensitive". They kept trying to make me feel guilty until I was convinced that my feelings weren't valid... It took years before I realized what happened was not actually because of anything wrong on my end but instead something very wrong with them.
What toxic people do is they take your sense of self and twist it so you can only see their points of view; they will try to get you to agree with them even if their perspective is toxic, harmful, or toxic - by using alluring tactics such as flattery , telling you that the way they are acting isn't toxic (i.e.: gaslighting), or making you believe that what they are doing isn't toxic, but instead is "misunderstood" by your "hyper-sensitivity" or if maybe you were over-"sensitive".
Toxic people will do anything they can to make you identify with them; this is so they can "infect" your mind with their own toxic perspective as if it were yours.
If toxic people cannot get you to agree that their toxic actions are toxic, they will resort to making you feel bad about yourself and your own toxic perspective for not accepting toxic behavior as if it were healthy; this is so toxic people can "poison" your mind with their toxic perspective as if it were healthy.
Here are a few signs to look out for :
You never feel totally safe around them.
You never quite know what to expect from them.
You’re being manipulated and feel pressured into something you don’t want to do.
The toxic person is always telling you their life story, while completely disregarding your own.
You feel less than comfortable and self-defeated when in their company.
Dealing with a Toxic Person:
To deal with a toxic person, you must first look upon toxic people from a toxic perspective. For example, Some parents may be toxic simply because they were raised to become that way. Understanding this will help you release yourself and your own toxic perspective for not accepting toxic behavior as if it were healthy. You can only deal with toxic people to a certain degree.
To avoid toxic people while developing yourself into a more mature person, you should always stay true to your values and never compromise them for toxic attitudes or toxic people. No toxic person can change your values because you are in control of you and your life.